By now, many of you have learned about my book: Obama Meets Ahmadinejad. Please read the excerpt attached and obtain your copy from Amazon. People who have read my book agree that it is timely, important and funny, so don't miss it.
Thank you for your support. By now everyone knows about Obama’s surprise trip to Afghanistan a while back. That’s old news. What people don’t know about is the side trip Obama made to Iran to meet with none other than the charming president of the Islamic Republic himself, the little fellow with a big ambition of turning the world into one huge fireball with Israel at its epicenter. This little fellow, Ahmadinejad, longs to do things that would make the heinous deeds of Hitler seem like the works of a model three-badger Boy Scout by comparison.
As usual, the lapdog liberal press, per its command from the powers-that-be, did not bark a word about these meetings. But, I am
old-fashioned. I don’t kowtow to any power. Nor do I aspire to be like the paragon of honest journalism, FOXNews. You’ve heard FOXNews blare, ad infinitum, “We report, you decide.” What they don’t tell you is that they make the important decisions about what is worthy of reporting.
As for me, I am a lone ranger, a maverick, really. I believe in the First Amendment and the freedom of the press. To me, freedom means just that, freedom. Not only do I select what I report, I also pass judgment freely. Give me credit—I am at least honest about my dishonesty, and that’s a whole lot better than the dishonest people who go about being dishonest and pretending to be honest. I confess right off the bat that I fully realize that eavesdropping is reprehensible, if not outright criminal. Yet, knowing this fact did not stop me from so doing, because I felt that, in dealing with Islamists like Ahmadinejad, it is in the spirit of fair play to level the playing field. As an ex-Muslim, I know that your “average” Muslim may be taught that the goal justifies the means: That is, if the goal is important, you say and do whatever it takes to achieve it. So I abided by the Islamic ethos and recorded the proceedings without their knowledge. Aren’t we advised, when in Rome do as the Romans do? I lived right in the heart of a Muslim land, and I can attest that the Islamic rule is, “Do unto others what you never want others to do to you.”
You might rightfully wonder how I, a one-man seat-of-the-pants operation sorely lacking funds, could have found out about the meetings, much less have managed to videotape every minute of them. And I, in turn, rightfully refuse to divulge the means of doing so, since it would be like shooting myself in the foot or even higher, right? Yet manage it, I did. I found out about the event well in advance, and bugged the location with hidden cameras and recording devices to capture everything that took place in the incredible multi-session tête-à-tête. To help you appreciate better what transpired between the two self-adulating leaders, I have taken great pains to report to you their exact conversations to the limits of my ability. Keep in mind that English is not my native tongue, and if I screw up reporting, it is not a major journalistic violation, particularly since I am reporting about two of the worst screwballs the world has ever seen. Also, I was compelled to sanitize their language, which was at times juvenile, disgusting, profane and much more. I have also taken the liberty of reporting some of the exchanges in their original languages, providing translations, and in some cases I have put their statements in my own words, not to distort anything but to make them more comprehensible to you, the reader. Beside the fact that this remarkable gathering took place, other aspects of the historical event struck me. For one, the tête-à-tête followed no prepared agenda. It was more like an exercise in free association, to say whatever you like at any point. Stick to a subject or raise a completely unrelated issue. The two repeated themselves, contradicted themselves and frequently acted like what psychologists call “manic-depressives.” As for me, the innocent observer, the whole thing was one long exercise in suffering. I have never been able to suffer fools gladly, as advised—one of my many failings. The interpersonal dynamics were most interesting. At times, deathly hostility peppered the speech of the little fellow, way out of proportion to his puny size. Obama, by contrast, tried but did not completely succeed in maintaining his composure, displaying an idiotic grin in retaliation, while aiming to ridicule Ahmadinejad—not exactly a task requiring the mind of a rocket scientist to do so, since the creep personifies ridicule, in addition to many other reprehensible traits. Yet, at other times, the two behaved toward one another with affection, camaraderie and admiration. I have tried to make sense of this mishmash, but I couldn’t quite figure it all out. Perhaps you, the reader, can.
This is a Satire. Any resemblance to people and places are strictly